Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
