i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
