Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
