i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
