I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
