This girl is more easily done than said...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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