So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
