If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think I died a long time ago.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
