IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
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you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
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You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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