five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
