please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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