Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
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I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
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Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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