i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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