So drunk its hurt
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
