How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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