a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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