Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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