Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you win again, gameday.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
