whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
