know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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