But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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