My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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