um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
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you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
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What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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