I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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