girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize