So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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