how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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