honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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