i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
