Wow word travels fast.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
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Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
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Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.