Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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