Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
