well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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