You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize