i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
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Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
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Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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