You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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