I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?