lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.