maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
