id be glad to
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
