Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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