playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
