dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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