What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
