me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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