That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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