i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
