But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
