A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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