wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
