At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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