I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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