The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize