quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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