He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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