He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
