Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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