so explain again why im purple
no
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
