I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
