A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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